His first attempt that day wasn’t great.
Kai Lightner was in Hurricane, Utah, attempting a first ascent of Death of Villains (5.15a). Because the route is so demanding, he knew he would only have two, maybe three attempts max before he’d have to call it a day. And he’d already used up one attempt.
To add onto that pressure, this was his last climbing day. Tomorrow, he’d have to drive home to Denver.
Kai sat down and took an hourlong break. He had never trained for a climb this hard, but when he showed up to Death of Villains earlier in the week, he knew he was prepared. Every attempt made him feel closer to the send.
But that day, everything was going wrong, and he fell during his warmup. Now with a cut on his pinky finger, he had to decide whether to tape the finger – not only can tape be distracting, but it can also mess with his grip on the rock. He decided he’d rather feel pain than feel like something was in his way.
He stood up, finishing his break, and walked up to the climb. “This is it,” he thought to himself. “This is the only attempt I have left, so I have to give it everything.”
And this time, it was different. As he climbed, he felt like he was in a “flow state,” and everything just connected.
After a lengthy 180-degree bouldering section that tested his endurance to the limit, there was a spot where Kai could do a toe-hook sequence and take a break. He took a moment to rest there, hanging upside down by his toes. As he looked out over the Utah desert, he felt overcome with a sensation of peace and calm.
“I just remember resting, taking in my environment, and just feeling happy, feeling blessed that I get to be in nature and have my job be in spaces like this,” he said.
When Kai felt rested enough, he finished up the climb and finally clipped into the chains at the top.
“It was this feeling of such satisfaction,” he said. “The fact despite all the pressure I felt, I found that perfect balance of mental and physical strength to hone it in and get it done.”